5 roundabout ways to make your marriage work

Be busy. Be scarce. Be absent-minded. Shake off expectations like a bird caught in the rain.

First of all, don’t believe in marriage. Believe in love. In freedom. Believe in friendship.
Be an adult. Be independent.

Yes, we can simplify things. We must. If you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to take charge of the story of your life. It's the best way to stay married. And stay sane.

1. GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING and invent a new one

In those moments when the whole shenanigan of playing a role that is thrust upon me in a structure that I didn’t choose begins to overwhelm me with its ruthless demands, it gives me great solace to remember what I wanted for ourselves in the beginning – when we first began to plan to marry.

I wanted to hang out with this guy. I wanted to travel and pause on sidewalks sampling street food and seasonal fruits. I wanted to receive him at railway-stations and text him from faraway places. I wanted both of us to heal from the mishaps of our childhood. Together and separately.

I also wanted to find a way to be an effective adult in this cul…