Our love is like a K shaped graph
“Come back regularly for the housekeeping of your marriage,” our therapist says. “Hurts, slights and resentments get accumulated in relationships.
Someone I know travels a lot. Usually by train. He often leaves late for the railway station. We realize once again that we forgot to account for evening traffic and other urban hurdles when we planned his schedule. As I see him off, I almost always hope that he misses his train. One of these days, he just might.
I must remember not to look too gleeful when that happens. I don’t want him to think I’m immature or anything. Or in love with him. No, that must be avoided.
When Afzal, my husband, is away on his frequent travels, I often have Wai Wai noodles and Mountain Dew for dinner. Halfway through the meal, I usually regret my choice. If the children offer me ice cream, I accept it. It is hard to tell whether I am celebrating or moping our moment of liberation.
“Come back every year for the housekeeping of your marriage,” our therapist had said to us during one of our early visits to her. “Hurts, slights and resentments get accumulated in relationships. We need to clean up and shine the light on neglected corners regularly.” This didn’t immediately make sense to us. We were newly married and confident about our bond.
The words have stayed with us like a talisman. Every time we feel eroded by the clutter of unmet expectations and the fine dust of disappointments, we are reminded of the need to spring clean the spaces of our togetherness.
READ the full essay here:
https://themorningcontext.com/chaos/our-love-is-a-k-shaped-graph
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